Wolfbark a novel by William Mckee
Once there lived a guy who didn’t know what to do with himself. He had spent the majority of his live in the same country. He didn’t travel. He didn’t work. He did his thing. It was ok for him but he wanted more. He wanted to find someone. Someone to love. This is.
I’m not sure if he wanted this book written in third or first person. Let’s write it in third person.
A year had passed since Harris had been taken over by the speciman.
Johns boat drifted into the mainland. Even from a distance John could tell that something was different from when he left. Flags were flying at the dock. The flags were of a portrait of John. Resistance colours. John docked the boat and stepped foot on the shore. He continued up the road towards the town.
Was Antony a bad person? Sure he did kill Sarah at one point but he thought he was doing it for a good reason. Sucked into believing that. I can’t believe they killed him off. It’s very sad. Why do they always kill the best characters. Going to write another novel but not sure.
Sarah was a natural brunette but she had dyed her hair blonde. It made it harder for them to find her.
The amount of matches that I’ve had has really been low. Sarah has been the most special so far. She seems interested in me and I like her. The first girl I meet with the app wasn’t interested in a relationship and had too much baggage. The 2nd wasn’t attractive but makes a good friend and food buddy. Maybe with a third time lucky.
Her cat died today. A girl in grief. She wants a boyfriend. A husband. Children. A family.
Got asked tonight if i had a wife. Almost coughed up my drink. Clearly this person had no idea. Me with a wife. Hell I struggle to even find a girlfriend. Tech helps. Meet them online.
I like this girl. She might be the one. Things I worry about though is my lack of money and support, my lack of car and ability to drive. Should I stay or go? I got to try with her. Got to go.
She had no idea about the software development meetup I mentioned to her. Better to just say IT meetup. She studied arts. Didn’t ask her about what she studied. Arts is broad. She had no exams though. Which is not unusal for arts, but not normal for universitys. She’s young though. That’s fine though. It’s eight years difference. Anything over 18 is safe. Her legs shinned. Her strong austrilan accent is a little hard for me to understand at times. I really need to focus. It’s high pitch. Young. That’s fine though. She wanted to ring me. I had no reception. i told her to wait. to ring later when i have reception. its the stone buildings that cause issues with the repection. though its more than there. the reception in the area is generally bad. It was a screw up in the govt. Still need to get another. They might be able to fix it. But it might make matter worse.
When she did ring I didn’t pick up. Phone must of been on silent or something. One missed call from Sarah. A text. You missed my call. I just gave her a ring back. She picked up. She was real. She wasn’t fake. Girls on the internet. Her cat had died that morning. It was only 10 years old. Slightly young for a cat. it was a persian though. They live for slightly less than other cats. It had been sick. On meds. Sarah would of had it all though her teens. SHe was given it for her 10th birthday. It was only a kitten then. Small and playful. It grew and it grew quickly. Inside cats live for longer than outside cats. there is mp chance. Must write more of the novel. Those lollies are nice. I wonder what she likes to eat. I have AWS meetup in the city tomorrow night. Planning on having lunch with her before that. We could go somewhere around here. Local. I want to take her to the beach. I’ve been here almost a week and I have yet to see a beach. The zoo is another idea. Years ago I took a girl I liked to the zoo. Her feet got sore so i ended up carrrying her some of the way. I would be fine to carry Sarah. Make sure she doesn’t rip me off. Reports of robberies happeneing though this. It’s quite exciting. Find a girl then she robs your house. This won’t happen with Sarah though. She is special. I want her bad. Eat her sweet pussy. Sit on my face. There isn’t a huge amount requited to get this sorted. I don’t want to..
Pulled down her panties. Our mouths together. She reached into my pants. Grabbing my junk. I made a sound. She smiled. We both knew what was coming next. She broke away from the kiss and moved down my body. Neck. Shoulder. Nipple. Chest. Looking up a large smile arose again. Didn’t see her today. I don’t know what happened.
Yesterday when we talked on the phone. I told her I was going to a meetup. She said ‘You know who you need to meetup with?’. I’m like ‘Who?’ and she replies with ‘me’. It was quite flirty of her. We made plans to meet today. I sent her a message in the morning but didn’t recieve a reply. I even gave her a ring when I went for a walk. It went straight to voicemail. Her phone was off. I didn’t contact her again. I don’t want to look desprite. I hope to meet her soon. Hopefully she sends me a message tomorrow. Take this rybin off my eyes. im not sure what. lunch with her would be nice. do i bring flowers? i saw a guy holding a bundle of flowers today. They must of been for his wife. That’s what sparked my thought on getting her flowers. Does she even like flowers though? I don’t even know.
Do I have any chance with this girl? What will she think of me when she finds out my lack of money. She shouldn’t judge me on that though. She didn’t judge me on my past though. I was a different person now. I had turned my world around. I had a full time job that allowed me to work from home, or in a office if I choose. It was flexable. The work was fun. I had an excellent manager. I really liked being told what to do. Yes I know that sounds dodgy but it really isn’t. I mean I like to be given briefs to work towards. This is what I use to do with design. This is what I will do in the future. This is what I continue to do.
It was quite rude of her to stand me up. We had planned on dinner. But she didn’t show up. It was a shame really. I really wanted to have dinner with her. To finally meet her. How long has it been? Close to two weeks since we connected. One week since she agreed to meet me. I need to try again. Third time lucky.
She studies Bachlour of Arts. What kind of arts? Arts broad. Hello Sarah. Her cat died today. She had to burry it. A headstone for it. Painting and placed in the garden. Something to remember her by.
I’m special. Include me. That’s what her profile read. I wanted to rewrite it. I told her this and it just made her laugh. I thought she might unmatch me because it. She didn’t
When she asked
Why did she swipe right for me? There have been very few right swipes lately. Even though im in a area with lots of people. Keep going back and forward between two areas. The the city and home. The other day I got lots of swipe rights. It was more than normal. Do they scale depending on the demand? It would be a good idea.
Do I send her a text or wait till the morning? im going to wait. see what happens. I hope she sends me a message. I don’t know if she will or not. I waited. I ended up texting her inviting her to lunch on Saturday. She wanted dinner on Friday instead. I’m fine with that. I would perfer lunch because dinner is expensive. But I’ve never even had a chance to meet the girl. So I will take anything. I don’t want her to think that im desprite.
When I first asked if she wanted a meal the reply was: fuck yeah. It was so exciting. That was a week ago. One week has passed since she agreed to go out for a meal with me and it hasn’t happened.
I hate lying about work. It’s not a lie but i just don’t give the full truth. I just want a 9 to 5 job. I want to marry this girl, to have kids with her. I don’t want to return to my country. I want to stay here. Can’t go back to my place. Got to find a new place somewhere. The idea of that is depressing. I want to live somewhere new. Tauranga was an idea. I don’t know if that will work or not. I think I’d rather live over here. Especially if work can be found. Need another.
Such a clutch. Falling over when I first meet her. It’s like I have two left feet. In such a rush to get the train I tripped and fell as I started to climb the stairs. Sarah caught me. Held me in her arms. It was a lucky catch. I wasn’t hurt. Only shocked. She helped me find my balance and we continued up the stairs. I got to more careful. The nerves and anxiety are not helping.
I tried to find her online. I have her phone number and first name. The University she attends. Unable to find her by just her phone number. If I had her last name then she would be a easy find. I guess she.
She wants marrage.
The phone range once. I missed her call. I just called her back. Her cat had died that morning so she just wanted to talk about her cat. She was grieving. Girls are at their most weakest then.
This is going no where. I’m not sure why this is even happening.
I was not impressed by her spelling and grammar. It’s important that people use correct terms. Shortcuts are not the answer and just make you look silly.
Another match. This time a mixed race girl. Part asian, part white. Quite nice. I’m normally not a fan of asian girls but a mix is ok. She’s a buisness student. I like Economics girls. They are quite rare though. Everyone does buisness. Not everyone does Economics.
Sarahs acccent was thick and I really had to concentrate on the phone to understand what she was saying. She told me about her cat dying. It was old and had been on meds.
omg that’s gross. The message I had sent had been deleted. The auth for the app had been corrupted. I’m not sure if Sarah even excisted now. It was hard to verify. Her private key had been stolen by someone and used to impersnate her. We had informed the police and we were able to get it revoted. It meant that those that had stolen it couldn’t use it anymore. Also able to attach a tracking gps to the key so that we were able to track down those that had stolen it and have them arrested. The police found them. They were arrested and charged with froud. A serious crime. They would spend several years in prison and would not be allowed to travel overseas. It basically ruined their life. They own fault for doing dumb shit. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Don’t hurt others. I don’t care what you do to yourself.
We finally had lunch. Meeting in the town we had to decide where to go for lunch. I really didn’t want to have pizza as I had it the past few nights at these IT meetups. I asked what she wanted. She couldn’t decide. Too hard decesion. Like the previous she had trouble making decesions. I decided on chinese. Not the most romantic I know. But tasty. We walked up the the large doors and i opened the door, letting her step in first. Like a gentleman. The waiter approached us and asked if we wanted takeaway or onsite. We will eat here. They asked us to follow us and showed us to a table for two. I took a seat. Sarah sat oposite me. I poured myself and Sarah a glass of water. I started to scan the menu. The waiter approached and asked for our order of drinks. A bottle of red. I asked Sarah what type of Red Wine she liked. Something from Aussie. They generally make better Reds than New Zealand. We decided on a Merlot. The waiter left to fetch the bottle. Returning several minutes later with the bottle and two glasses. He poured two glasses of the wine. The waiter asked if we were ready to order yet. I ordered the Moo shu pork. Sarah the General Tso’s chicken. The waiter asked if we wanted anything else. No that will do for now I told them. They left to process our order. Sarah had hardly spoken a word. Silence is fine. I’m happy to sit in silence. People often talk too much. I don’t like small talk. Neither does she. I took a sip of my wine. It had a plummy taste, and a hint of chocklate. I’m not normally a fan of chocklate but in wine it’s fine. I could tell Sarah was enjoying her glass. She had almost finished the glass. It’s smooth and easy to drink. I asked about her cat. The one that had just died. She told me how she got it. For her 10th birthday. Returning home from school. Dumped her bag in her room. Went out to the kitchen to get a snack. She heard a mew from the lounge. Sarah first thought it was a stray cat that had entered the home. She yelled to her Mother. No reply. She put down the apple that she had been eating on the bench and entered the lounge. There it was. Curled up in a cardboard box. Her mother sat beside gently pating it. Sarah approached the cat and gave it a pat. Does it have a name? Sarah asked. It’s your cat Sarah, it’s up to you to name it.
Sarah thought long and hard about a name for the cat. It took her several days to decide. She had several names in mind. She wanted one that would fit the cat. Wanted to get to know the personality of the cat before decided.
Bella. That’s the cats name Sarah decided. B. E. L. L. A. was engraved on the cats tag, along with a phone number. Just in case Bella goes missing and someone finds her. The cat never went missing. It lived for almost eleven years. That’s below average for a cat. Normally cats average age is between 12 and 18. Inside cats tent to live for longer than outside cats. Though, wild cats live for an average of 5 years. Sarahs cat lived for double that. It was a persian also. They tend to live less than other breeds. This is enough talking about Cats. I want to talk about Sarah.
Cat’s are fun. My first cat that I can remember was called BJ. He was a tabby. I then got ET ginger cat. He didn’t last long. Then BJ died. They didn’t last for long. The neigbours killed them with their car. The same car killed both of my cats. It’s like they were out ther went out of their way to kill them. After those two cats were killed switched to dogs for awile. Untill we got Kitty Cat. She was likely much older than what we thought and she died when I was in highschool. Blackcat was the next cat. Though that was more mums cat than mine. He’s still alive now. I’m ok not having a cat as long as I’m busy and have things to do. Meetups really help. Getting to several a week is important. They suppply cider and pizza also. Beer is common but I perfer cider. It’s rare that they get out the wine. Sometimes they have it there but I don’t like to ask. At the conference after parties next week they will have wine. I will drink red wine. Like how I drink red wine with Sarah. I’m happy I have found someone that loves red wine as much as me. She’s happy also, none of her boyfriends in the past liked wine. They were all beer drinking guys. They all drunk though. That’s one thing me and her exs have in commons. It’s funny when she asked me about my past relationships. I tell her about Sky. She was a special girl.
I have alot of friends who are girls though. Friend Zoned. I’m not even interested in some of them. I guess I had interest in some of them when I first meet. But we put each other into friend zone. That’s fine. Girls are easy to meet but hard to dev
elop relationships with. This app really helps. I wish it was around years ago. When I was first at terciry studies. That’s when I first attempted online dating. Find Someone. I talked to a couple of people on there. I can’t remember getting a reply. I never meet or chatted over text with the girls. I think modern dating apps are far more supurier. There is not much left but I’m going to try to get this sorted. What will the future hold for dating apps? It’s an area that is of great interest to me as I sturggle in the area so much. Apps can really help me out with finding someone. That’s the ammazing thing about it. That geeks. depressed. anxiety. can find someone. lets try again. Only chatted with two girls since i landed. Sarah and a new girl. She’s mixed race. I’ll talk about her later. If there is a later. I was worried about dying. That’s right, dying. This country is a dangerous place. Plenty of things out there that can kill you. I woke up the other day and thought I had some sore of bug or something on me. I screamed and jumped up. People were in the lounge. On the computer. Playing video games. They had headsets on so didn’t hear my screen. They just kept playing their video games.
It didn’t take long for the waiter to bring out our food. Sarah had already started on her second glass of wine. I finished mine and started a second glass. The food smelt delious. Sarah had already started eating. I picked up my fork and started to eat as well. I wasn’t as quick eater as her. I couldn’t eat as much also. We finished the food. Well Sarah finished her food. I couldn’t eat all mine. We finished the bottle of wine. We ordered desert and a glass of desert wine each. The wine was sweet and tasty. Fortune cookies were also included. What did my fortune cookie read? What do fortune cookies normally say? They have a piece of paper with a chinese proverb on. Mine read: and Sarahs said:
We paid for our meal and started to head for the exit. I was going to get laid tonight. This girl really liked me and I liked her. There was no dening that there was strong chem between the two of us. I don’t think I had meet someone that I connected with so well. She was wife material. I am getting old anyway. A wife and kids could be good. A stable software development job. That’s what I want. I’m sick of being on the benift. Even the doctors who write my cert are growing tired of doing it. It’s been years and I’ve made no progress. A change helped. It makes me think that there should be a cap on it, or at least get a 3rd party opion on it. There is no such thing as free money. It doesn’t work and just leads to the downfall of mankind.
The explosion happened as we were about to leave. That’s when everything ended. A suicide bombed that had something against the chinese blew himself up in the foylor area of the restruent. It was a crowded resturont. Both Sarah and myself were killed. Along with 30 or so others. A bad end to our date. Bodies were so damaged that they had to use dental records to identify the bodies. The funerals were closed castets. Both of our families didn’t even know we were dating. It was a terrible experence for them. Why would someone go and blow up innocent people? There is one rule thing I had in life, don’t hurt others. I really don’t care what you do to yourself, but others matter. Sure it upset me that my brother started smoking cigs. It would shorten his life. But it was his choice. The tax on cigs are too high. If they lowered tax on them there would less issues.
Sarah had a pink casket. That was her favourite colour. Mine was a rainbow of primary colours. It had been etched with my paintings. The flowers were the same. A mixture of primary colours. My family knew these were my favourite. They had even choosen tones similar to what I painted with. That’s right, I use to be a painting. I trained as an artist. Life drawing throughout artschool. I switched to digital though. Did mostly digital drawing but sometimes digital painting.
I knocked into the bomber on my way out of the resturont. He was entering as we were leaving. If we had left even 10 seconds eariler we would still be alive. Sometimes I wonder what my life would of been like if i had survived.
I would of married Sarah. We would of had three kids. Two boys and a girl.
The girl was the eldest. Cora Janel Mckee. Cora was named after my Nana. Her middle name named after Sarahs grandmother. Cora was born on 23rd August 2019. I was 30 years old. Younger than my Father when he had me. Sarah was 22. She was able to work part time. I worked from home. Setting up a home office was an excellent idea. It meant that I could be home the majority of the time. Sarah was able to come and go. If she was called into work, I was able to take a break from my office and look after Cora. I liked to walk so I would put her in her pram and take the train to the beach. My skin was tanned now. It didn’t always use to be. When I lived in my home country I didn’t like the sun. It was a different heat back home. It burnt. It doesn’t burn here. Cora likes to go to the beach also.
I didn’t like the water. I never liked the water. But I would setup a beach chair and read. Keeping my eye on Cora as she played on the beach. I had brought with me a shovel and other instruments that she could use for
Sarahs work isn’t far so she meets us at a nearby cafe during her lunch break and we have food. It’s a good life. We think back to our first date. The chinese resuront. The dreadful attack that we were lucky to escape. Sometimes I wonder how terrible it would of been if we hadn’t left when we did. Cora wouldn’t exist. That’s for sure.
Both myself and Sarah are brunettes. Dark dark brunetee. Cora is the same. It’s expected. Though I carry a recursive ginger gene. My beard has hints of ginger in it. This is especially true when it’s short. It’s the irish in me. I once had a relief teacher ask me if I was an Irish or English Mckee. I said both. Her reply was that’s the best type of Mckee.
Who turned up at my funeral?
There was my Mother, Stepfather, Father, Grandfather, Grandmother, Brother, Sister, my uncle. My Aunty didn’t come. She never liked me and I never really liked her also. It was a terrible loss for the family. To lose someone before their thirty birthday. I could of done so much with my life. But it was cut short. My art would live on though. I had made sure that my Brother had access to my art website in order to keep it running. It would never be updated again. But it would be archieved for historic purposes. That’s what I wanted. For my artwork to live on. My software was all open source and easy for people to access. I didn’t have to worry about the archieve about this. If someone wanted to carry on with some of the software I had written they could copy it and continue. It was fine. I was getting tired. I needed a sleep. It had been quite a long day. Spending the majority of it writing. Sarah was at work. I was looking after Cora. We had just found out about her second pregency. How very exciting. It didn’t bother either of us what the gender of the next child was. A boy or a girl would be fine. We had started talking about names. I adviced against calling him after me. It makes things too confusing. Discussed calling it after some of family memebers. Similar to what we did with Cora. Who would we choose? If the baby was male maybe after our Grandfathers. Switch it around this time. Give him Sarahs Grandfathers name as a first name - Jacob, and mine for the middle. Henry. Jacob Henry Mckee. And it was. The baby was a male. Jacob Henry Mckee was the name. The same middle name as my grandfather. We had considered his first name - Clifford. But that’s my middle name and both me and Sarah agreed that we would not use any of our own names. Cora was 4 years old when Jacob was born. She wasn’t far off starting school. She was very excited to have a baby brother. He was very special for her.
For the third child we decided to do something different. Named after computer systems. I know, geeky. Linus Packard Mckee. Multinational corps. Linus was born after our break. We didn’t plan for him. It just happened. It was wonderful really. Totally unexpected. Three children. That was my limit. I didn’t want any more.
After Jacob was born we took a break. I agreed to move out. The marrage was not working and we needed to sort our issues out. A break was good. It gave me a chance to travel. I hadn’t traveled much in my life and it was good to travel the world. Sure I missed my kids but I helped Sarah with money and we hired a nanny to look after them. Cora had started school by this point so it meant it was easier. Sarah still worked part time. I had earned enough money to support her. She was good at budgeting and understood the advantanges of saving. She had the disaplin for it. The accountant in her. That’s what she did for a job. Accounting. I could never do something like that. Too dry and boring in my mind. I designed the software for it though. The company that Sarah worked for even used my software. Most accounting firms used it though. I didn’t even like the software I was creating but it paid the bills and it paid well. The process in creating the software was fun though.
Where did I travel to? I went all over. Staying at Airbnb. Cheaper and a more fun experience than hotels. I just looked for software conferences to attend. After six months of travel Sarah agreed to let me return. We kept the Nanny. It allowed me to work for longer, building the business up. Things were better once I returned. We both found the Nanny really helped. I had issues cleaning. Having someone there to clean helped. It meant I didn’t have to worry so much about keeping things clean. This took a huge strain off our relationship. Our marraiage was fixed. We just needed to take a break and get some hired help. We also decided to hire someone to keep the lawns and gardens maintained. Can pay them excellent. Hired a chief of staff. Maid. Cleaners. The whole worlds. The house was beautiful. I didn’t let any of them into my office though. That was my space. I didn’t want them in there. My office was very minimal though. It had a desk with a single monitor and desktop computer. That’s where I wrote the majority of my software. I also had a laptop that I used when I traveled. I didn’t usually use this around the house. The desktop computer was more comfourble. Sarah just had a laptop. She wasn’t much of a computer person. She had studied arts at university. Arts at university. It’s something that I would never do. But whatever. Her choice.
Who turned up at Sarahs funeral?
Her Mother. And friends. She had very few family but lots of friends. These were friends that she had went to school and university with. She never had the chance to work. A bit like me. I never had a 9-5 job. It was always my own projects that I worked on.
The world followed our story. How we meet over an internet dating app. How it took so long to arrange our first date. Lots of back and forward communaction. How she wanted to talk on the phone about her dead cat. how I rang her. I had issues with reception. At first I thought it was her that was hanging up. I’m not sure though. It doesn’t really matter. I wanted to sort it out via text message. I just needed a time and a place to meet. I offered her a time and place. Seven in the evening. Outside the supermarket. We can go from there. She never replied and when I rang I got no answer. Even the next day I sent her a text and didn’t get a reply. It’s getting to the point where I don’t think I’m going to meet her. She is a local even. Quite weird really. It was her idea to go for dinner last night but then she doesn’t show. Oh well.
When we finally meet everything went wrong. We would never be together. She squeezed my hand moments before the explosion happened. It’s as she knew that something was going to happen. I would of gotten laid that night. She fucks on the first date.
My pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola. I can’t believe she won’t perform the song anymore. It’s such a great song, i think it’s one of my favorite songs by her. But at the end of the day it is up to her if she wants to continue performing the song. I will always be disapointed though.
Instead I chilled with my brothers girlfriend. She normally just talked on the phone. She liked that I was willing to hangout with her. She even suggested I contact Sarah and Suggest she come hangout with us. We had alchol and food. Good banter. What more is there to life? Security. Love. Companinship. I had recently attended a meetup and was asked there if I had a wife. I almost chocked.
I got stood up again. And it was her idea to have a date. This is not the first time she did this. I suggested we have lunch on Saturday. She suggests dinner tonight. So annoying. I hate being stood up. I like it when people show up when they are going to show up. That’s how people should act. It really pisses me off. I did get to chill with my brothers girlfriend. She got back when I was meant to go on the date. Handed me money for the date. The date that never happened. I had tried to arrange what time and where we were going to meet. It didn’t happen. I tried to ring again. It rang. rang to answer phone. Her mailbox was full. It wouldn’t let me leave a message. I don’t like to leave a message anyway. I’ll try agian tomorrow. She might be keen for something tomorrow. Unless she stands me up again. That might happen. I really don’t like it when people don’t follow through with their plans. They got to at least tell me that they are not going to show up. It’s quite rude otherwise. That’s the thing about this. It’s not going to go away. Both lines are going to wonder about the other. The dead thinking about the living. The living thinking about the dead. In a sense the novel is about death and what could of happened if life happened. How generations would carry on with the living and the dead. Nothing.
I did my first unmatch today. I was accussed of trolling tinder for book recommandations. I had no time for that bull shit so I unmatched her. She was a fat bitch anyway. That was one of the rules. No asians. No fatties. It’s quite ironic really because I meet a asian fatty. It was friend zone straight away though. I was only intersted in her for food outings and a friend. I certainly lack friends. I got sick of one of my friends always going on and on about his grandmother dying of cancer. He’s almost 30. That’s what grandparents do. They don’t live forever and he doesn’t seem to understand that. It’s no lose though. He was a fucking faggot. He wouldn’t go for walks with me anyway. I want friends that will walk with me. If they don’t walk, they are no use. But I’m in a new city now. It’s a chance for me to make new friends. Online apps help with making friends. Along with computer related meetups. There are plenty here. Unlike my home country where it’s quite dead.
I don’t like to think of myself as racist. On the app I don’t even swipe left for asians. I can’t keep up. If I slow down a bit then I might be able to swipe left on them.
I didn’t like this bitch calling me a troll. Accusing me of using the app just to troll for book recomendations. I had to tell the first girl I matched with. It made her laugh. I will always be friends with her. We will never have a relationship. I’m fine with that. There are too many difference and disagreements between the two of us. She has too much baggage also.I’ll talk about her later. I have Sarah now. She’s special and means the world to me.
Her pussy takes like pepsi cola. I loved the smell of Sarah. She smelt so beautiful. I loved going down on her. I was very new at eating pussy so she had to give me a few tips. But once I got the hang of it I was a natural.
and I need to get the wordcount up.
I recieved my first text from her on Sunday evening. Hi, It’s Sarah. I had given her my number through the app we meet with. Normally once I get a girls number or altenative contact (Instagram for example), I stop using the match. There has been only two others that this has happened with though.
The first I got her number, and then after we meet she removed me from the app. I still keep in contact with her. It’s mostly through Facebook but I have her cellphone number. I’ve rarly texted her though. I’ve never called her.
The second, added her on Instagram and we talk through there. I havn’t sent her a message on the app. Still have her on there though. She updated her photos on the profile. One of her photos is really beautiful. She is lying in her bed. Holding the phone up. Her legs dangling. She has a short skirt on. The mirror behind her reflecting. This is quite a common tactic girls use now for photos. A large smile on her face. A good set of teeth. White. She’s tan though. That’s typical for the area. Plenty of sun and beaches. Since arriving here I have yet to see a beach though. I was hoping to see one today but the weather is terrible. It’s been raining. It’s stopped now but it could start at any time. I left the house. I forgot the unbreloa but it didn’t matter. It didn’t end up raining anyway. So it was good that I didn’t take the unbrella. As I may of lost it. I don’t like losing things and the more I take with me the more I lose.
During the dinner we discussed white wine vs red wine. Since we were eating a red meat we were having a red wine. If we were eating a white meat - like chicken or fish then we would do a white. I perfered red wine but it was nice to have a white wine sometimes. Especially if it was from my home country as they make better white wine there than here.
When Sarah was younger she would of squeezed the cat so hard it would poo. She was older now and more responsible.
Pizza and beer tomorrow. Again.
I’m looking for a boyfriend. A nice guy. Someone to get married to. To start a family and grow old together. Don’t say I’m too young. I want the option to work or stay home. She wants something flexable. It’s important that her husband has a good job. Must make at least 200,000. Anything below that is unacceptable. 200,000 is nothing.
Another meetup tomorrow. That’s pizza and beer three nights in a row. Looking forward to not having pizza this weekend. I must tell people no pizza. No pizza. There is only a certain amount of pizza one can handle. Need to message the first girl I meet about the pizza. She’s a big fan of pizza. and wine. she likes her wine also. i wonder if this new girl likes to drink. All of her photos are of her at home - in her bedroom or lounge. No one else in the photo.
I know she lives with her mum. I’m not sure if she has any siblibins. She never mentioned it to me. Her accent was strong. I really needed to focus in order to understand it. That’s one of the reasons what attracted me to her. Her accent. The same for her. I was forign. I had no luck with girls in my home country. Going something new was a fresh start. I was able to be honest with people I meet. I had been telling lies and lies are bad. I don’t like to lie but it’s hard sometimes.
I didn’t lie to Sarah. I told her my history. How I had been dependent on the welfare system for years. How I didn’t believe in it myself. But I relied on it. Because I knew nothing else. It’s what I was use to. But things are different now. A new country. A new experience. A fresh start. A new girlfriend. Someone I can spend my time with. My brother has a girlfriend. She’s a wonderful woman. Always cooking him dinner. Lunch. I get on good with her too which is important. It would be awkward if he had a girlfriend that I didn’t get on with. I like my brother and he’s important to me. So I’m happy he’s happy. It’s excellent support for him. THere are only 100 or so muore words that I need to finished before I hit the words I need for today. Start typing with my eyes closed. This is the best way of doing things. It lets me just switch off. The music l=bllasting in my ears. Let my imaganation flow. Able to visually see what is in my mind. I don’t even have letters on this keyboard so I can just focus on the screen or on nothing if my eyes are closed. That’s the word for the day!
Not sure to continue with previous novels or start something completely fresh. Very tempted to take the Tauranga short store I wrote and extend it further. Taking other ideas and characters and merging them into it. I’m hungry. I need some food. Food is the best way to get though this. What to eat, what to eat. After food I feel much much better. Can write a novel now. This is just a warm up really. not sure what to write. write. right. wrong. wong. sometimes i just want to write software instead. It’s good for me to write a novel for this month though. I’m setup for it. I have a nice mechanical keyboard. A nice laptop running Linux Mint. Netflix on the right to distract me. The iphone is playing music via Spotify. Tend to write a night. Before and after midnight. Only another 100 or so words to go till I have the goal for today. There is no point in cheating. Better to just be honest and write. After a certain time there wouldn’t be enough to go around. Got to get the word count happening. Once I’ve got enough word count for today I can get a reward. What would the reward be? I’m not sure buuty mabe something sexy. Yay hit the word count for the day. If I continue to do this for everyday I will win!. GOod luck to everyone else doing this. Hopefully I get a story out of this and not just a ramble of my lack of romantic life. You see that’s how I thought it was going to be. All by myself! Super behind. It’s really not good. But whatever. If I can try to write over 1000 words before I go to sleep that would be awesome. I’m not sure if I will make it or not. This is a litary novel. That means that it doesn’t have a plot. That’s fine. There is no elements of science fiction, horror, fantasy, or horror. It’s a study of the human condition. This is a genre of novel that I like to read so I like to write about it as well. Still 800 or so words to go for today. That’s fine I’m not too concerned if I full behind but I don’t want to full too far behind. I don’t have a job or anything that will stop me wrong. I have plenty of time to get the writing done. I don’t like to full behind and that is what has been happening. Behind but now I have a much better computer setup. Well I’ve done quite well today to try to catch up with yesterdays falling behind. I would like to get ahead though. Next week is going to be a busy week. I need all the words I can get this weekend. Thursday morning and after noon is my next free day, except for the evenings of monday, tuesday and wednesday. Friday, Saturday, Sunday next week will have to be focused days on getting wordcount, along with evenings during the week. I will likely be quite tired though. It would be good to get a few hundrad more before midnight. Hitting the 6666 target is important. It’s got an extra 6 on it, otherwise it would be the number of the devil. Not much left to go. I’ve done so well today. Most of the time it has been spent in the lounge writing and watching television. The tv is a bit of a distraction but I managed to get a decent word count. I went for a walk for food. Food is important. A large chicken for dinner. Pumpkin. Potatoes. Normally I don’t eat potatoes but roasted is ok. It’s hot chips that I have an issue with. I had them too much at the place I lived in my home country. I try and avoid eating them nowadays, but i guess they ok if part of a balanced diet. My diet has been quite healthy since living here. Yay made the word count for the day. I wonder how I will get on tomorrow. If I can try to get ahead a bit tonight then it will make tomorrow easier. Double up day! It’s only a few hundrad words to go until I have finished for the day. I am worried about the next few days. I have a conference on and I will be busy. Still it’s ok. I will get through it. Not sure if I should take my laptop to the conference or not. Likely not. Better to just take my digital painting gear. I will paint my way through it. The music was shit so I skipped it.
I asked them in the resturont to turn down the music. I always have issues trying to hear with music playing in the background.
They were made of a base of flour, sugar, vanilla and sesame seed oil. Hell they are not even chinese. Even though they are being served at a chinese resturant. When you think about it the meals that we ate were not Chinese. They were western varients of traditional chinese meals. That’s what we do in the west. Take other cultures foods and make it fake. That’s what we do. Fake everything. Pretend it’s ours. Some say it’s an insult to the original culture but it’s what humans do. Copy and adapt.
Dry your eyes mate. There are plenty of more fish in the sea.
The bomber was white. At first it was thought that he was from the middle east. It’s a typical crime for middle east. Whites normally shoot. The investagers never found out the reasons why he did it. I don’t think we will ever know. Only the bomber really knows. For months afterwards they searched for reasons why he did it. People had plenty of ideas on why he did it. That he was racist and didn’t like Chinese. Ironic because the majority of people that were killed in the explosion were white. That he was mentally unstable. That he was in dept. He just wanted to do it for the laughs. Again no one will really know why he did it. The bomb was strapped to his waist. He used a cell phone to detenate it. Four numbers. 3. 6. 8. 1. Send. Then the explosion happened. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.
What did we discuss during dinner? Bella. Her cat that had just died. I tried to keep politics out of it. When I get asked who I voted for it makes me awkward.
I had recently lost a friend. I had gotten sick of him. He would always go on and on about his Grandmother dying of Cancer. That’s what grandparents do. They die. That is their purpose. He wouldn’t go for walks with me. I need friends that go for walks with me. Sarah went for walks with me. Plus she was a hottie. Best of both worlds. I was encourged to
One day she relised she has it easy. It was when I was travelling overseas. During our break. If it wasn’t for me her life wouldn’t be so good. She went into the relationship knowing that she would come out of it with a better life. We both knew this and it was fine. We had an agreement. A written agreement. It protected both of us. That’s was the same my Father. With his marrage he had got his wife to sign a contract. It worked out well for him and I decided to do the same. Sarah wasn’t keen on it at first but we both hired a lawyer to read through it. After a few changes to the contact she agreed to sign it. Perfect. It made it easier for both of us. The contract was one of the reasons why Sarah decided to just let me back home. To stay together. If she had filled for divorce she may of run into issues with the contract. It over ruled the normally rules with divorice law. I really don’t understand relationship laws but I had an excellent lawyer that had years of experience in the matter. He knew what to do. I had serveral lawyers.
Something so true. It’s what I get from you.
She brings out the best of me. I can’t remember what my life was like before she was in it. It sure wasn’t as fun. She helped give my life more purpose. Sure I had my artwork and software but those were materal. Sarah is something real. Flesh and blood. Bone. Muscle.
What can happen next?
What has happened so far?
There are two arcs in the story.
The novel starts with the narator, an unnamed male in his late twentys who meets Sarah who is in her early 20s. They go on a date and are killed in a explosion of a suicide bomber. The narration continues through death with the narrator discussing the aftermath of the attack. It looks at their family and close friends and how they handle things after the narrator and Sarah are dead.
The 2nd arc is if the narrator and Sarah survive the attack. They leave the restruent early and are not caught up on the explosion. They continue to date and get married, and have kids. Strain is placed on their marraige and they decide to take a break. The narrator travels overseas for several months. After six months Sarah agrees to let the narrator return. They fixed their marrage up and continued.
The narrator talks through the novel his experience of raising the kids. The everyday activities that they experience.
She send me a message and said that she was sorry that we hadn’t meet yet.
The first is if
It had been several days since I had recieved a message from Sarah. I didn’t want to text untill she messaged me. I don’t want to seem desprite. I’ve mentioned this before. It’s something that worries me. That I will send too many messages and she will be turned off. Or not send enough and she thinks I don’t care. It’s got to be a balance.
She finally sent me a message. upto? The message read. I wanted to reply. But I needed to wait. I always sent a message first and replyed straight away.
The attack made headlines around the world. Strapped explosives to his body and walked into a chinese resutruent. Thirty people were killed. That’s including the bomber. Sarah and myself were also killed. Two hundrad people were injured. Fifty of them were serious. Within minutes of the explosion emergency units were arriving at the scene. The focus was not on the dead but those that were injured. The dead bodies were left and could be delt with later.
something so true. it’s the best of you.
not sure if i will finish this now. quite behind due to busy during the week. still i could catchup. it’s just a matter of writing more and more and getting stuff done. Something so true.
What attracted me to him in the first place? Was it his smile. The sides of his cheeks wrinked. A nice guy. That’s what I asked for. And that’s gwhat I got. I knew he was inexperienced. Guys that are inexperenced can often latch on. They believe they are not going to get anything again That’s really not true. They are going to find someone again if it doesn’t work out. They just need to keep looking. Don’t hide away from the world. Talk to us.
That’s what he did. That’s what I liked. Some of the topics that he talked about went over my head. That’s expected. Im an arts major. He studied art also but got more into
Where do I start from. There are two storts to tell. Both are interesting. Ones much sader than the other. One leaves the world empty. But how does it affect down generations? That’s what always fasanated me about the idea. Sliding doors. When a woman misses a train and her life turns out completely different to if she got the train. A few seconds difference and her whole world is changed. That’s how it was for us. The chinese resturant. If we walked out seconds earler we would survive.
It’s a bit like those that invovled in a shooting. There was another attack. At a church. Some made man decided to go shoot up the curch. He killed most people there. It was horrific. But I don’t want to talk about it. I wnt to talk about the restruent. I’m repeating myself. That’s what I do. But whatever. I’m going to repeat myself and you can stop reading ifd you don’t like it. It’s too important to not get written down. Once upon a time there lived a man. He was insane. He decided to blow up the church.
If we didn’t die we would have threee children. All of them quite different but unique and special. Mothers always say that about their children. Cora was our first child. She was spoid since she was the only child for several years. I had all the time in the world for her. I wanted to work though. Just part time. Full time would be too much. My husband worked, full times. 40 hours a week. Mine was just a boost. Icing on the cake. I’m not even a fan of cake. But that doesn’t matter.
every motherfucker dies
not everyone died though. why did he leave the church. he could of stayed there. shot them all. leave no one alive. instead 20 people survived. 26 dead. bang. bang. bang. bang. bang. bang. bang. that’s enough bangs. i hate to think about it. It’s too soon to write about it. A series of short stories that expolore mass shootings.
School, church, music. that’s where these attacks seem to take places. churches will be locking their doors. patting those down that enter. people don’t feel safe. but they need a gun for protection. there are too many dumb people out there.
Walking through a tunnel and a clown pops out. Pull out a gun. The clown rips off his mask and puts his hands up. dont shoot dont shoot they yell. hopefully that taught them a lesson. reported them to police and they were charged for harrasment. they were bloody lucky they were not shot. approaching me like that in a dark alleyway. dont do dumb shit like that. that’s why im so boring. because i would never do crap like that.
i want to stay here. there are more opotunities here. plus i have sarah. she’s a special girl and we can start a family together. did she mention the attack that almost killed us? I’m sure she did. She tells everyone. If we hadn’t left when we did, it’s highly likely that we would of been killed. Bloody lucky. THat’s all I can say. Still very behind but see if i can catchup. it’s posible to do it. almost half way though the month. not sure where this is going. it would be good to print it out. need to find a printers. the library might do it. need to take this into a word doc.
My name is Sarah. This is the story of my life. I’d like to tell you two versions. One where I die young with my first date. And another where I live to be old and die with him as an old woman. Both stories are interested. I’m not sure which I perfer. Perhaps the one where I live to be old. That does have it’s issues though. It’s ups and downs. I think you will enjoy both stories.
He has already told you some of our story. It’s true what he has told you. But that’s his perspective. Mines different. Neither is wrong. Let’s see how this goes. It will be interesting to know if you perfer his story or mine.
Where did it all start?
How did we first meet? What information is key? How will it all end.
So I meet him on a app. Who swipped right first? I think he did. He was quite the cronic user. Every 12 hours he would swipe right until he ran out of swipes. There were certain people that he didn’t swipe right for. Those were fatties, asians and blacks. Certain asians/blacks he would swipe right with sometimes though. If they were mixed with white then he might swipe right. Of course he swipped right for me. I’m skinny and white. I’m not super skinny but I’m an acceptable amount of skinny. Enough for him. Not dangerously skinny. Those girls he doesn’t like so much.
Cora was our first child. I got pregnet during valantines day. That meant that Cora was born at the end of September. It’s quite a common time for babies to be born.
She was born with dark hair. Her fathers hair is very dark, mine not so much. There was a chance that she would be a ginger. His beard hair has speckles of ginger. I guess I don’t have the recessive gene for it.
It doesn’t really matter. The most important thing is to catchup.
Now that is a good choice. Let’s see how much more we can get onto.
Sarahs parents were both from the same small town. They grew up together. Childhood sweethearts. They started dating when they were in highschool. They had no one else. A bit like Sarah if she died in the attack. Opps. That was a bit of a spoiler. Oh well it was going to come out at somepoint. There needs to be some conflict. Can’t just write a book about how amazing sarah is. Sensenious Sarah. A bit like the book Gone Girl. The character in there is known as Amazing Amy. She wasn’t really amazing though. Far from it. Sarah never did anything like that to me. Though she did cheat on me. That’s one of the reasons why we decided to take a break. I didn’t mention this before. I don’t like to mention it. Sarah might tell you more about it. I don’t know. All I know was it was a one off. Some guy she meet in a bar. She was annoyed with me and decided to sleep with him. Of course he was keen. A one night stand. No strings attached. He didn’t know she was a Mother of two. With a husband waiting at home for her. She didn’t come home that night. I worried. I stayed awake all night worried. And there she was fucking some guy that she had meet at the bar. As far as i knew she could of been kidnapped, raped and killed. Her phone was off. I called her friends and they had not seen her. I called the local police station to report a missing person and they ignored it. She wasn’t missing for long enough. I had to wait for longer. But then at six in the morning she showed up on the door. Her clothes a mess, stinking of booze. I tried to ask her where she had been. What she had done. She wouldn’t have any of it. She just wanted to sleep. I was happy she was home. She was safe. My worse fears forgotten. She just went and slept. She slept all day. I looked after the children for the day and hardly got any code written. I had a deadline due next week so needed to get it sorted. I was very pissed off with Sarah. Something needed to be done. That’s how we decided about my break. A break of six months. It gave me a chance to travel. To get along to conferences. To network and expand my knowledge. I had hardly traveled before then. It was a great experience and I was able to network with alot of people and really expand my knowledge. I was even able to talk at a few lightning talks.
Cora is the eldest of our children. This really made her special. There is something about first children that makes them different. Maybe it's because there is no one else around. They get all the attentation. One of Coras favorite activities as a baby was to do yoga with her Mother. This is something that is very healthy for babies and helps them grow and stretch. It keeps them healthy. Sarah stopped smoking cigs when she found out that she was pregent. She didn't want the cigs to harm the child. She promised to never start again and that's what she did. She kept her promoise. She wanted to live long and be there for her children - and her grandchildren should she ever have any. That would be a long way away if it did happen. Cora was only a baby. They lived in a small house on the outskirts of town. They had plenty of land and the nearest neighbours were quite far away. This gave them plenty of privacy. Sarah was able to play music as loud as she wanted without disturbing them. This wasn't always true. As a teenager Sarah had lived in a busy area where houses were stacked against each other. This meant she was not allowed to play music. Once she played music too loud and the people next door compained to her. At least they asked her to turn it down rather than ring the authorities on her. She would of gotten in trouble if the police had showed up. They never did though. The police would always send noise control to the house before showing up themselves. It was only if there was a bad area that the police had to come also. There were certain streets that the noise control were not allowed to attend without the police. This meant that sometimes they got false calls. People that didn't like the security company and would call in false reports in order to waste the security companies time. The security guard would have to wait for the police to arrive before thery were allowed to attend the meeup. Like I said. This never happened to Sarah. Even if the people next door had called the noise control the police wouldn't come. The area that Sarah lived in was a safe area. It was one of the flasher areas of the time. It was on the south side. The west was considered the more dangours. The majority of the area of the west couldn't be attended by security without police also attending. This spread to other industries also. The local pizza company refused to deliver to certain streets out west. They had an incident once when one of their drivers were delievering pizza and the car was stolen. The theifts broke a window and hot wired the car as the pizza guy was taking the pizza to the house. It was suspected that the person that had ordered the pizza knew that car jacking was going to happen. It was all a setup. The police were never able to prove this though. The car jackers were caught and arrested but the chargers against those that had ordered the pizza never stuck. They were bloody lucky. As a result the pizza company refused to deliever pizza to the area. Sarah was able to get pizza delievered though. Like I mentioned before security were able to show up at Sarahs place, and so were the pizza delievery. This made Sarah happy as she liked to order pizza once a week. This was usually on a Friday when her parents didn't feel like cooking after their long week at work. What was Sarahs favorite type of pizza? The cheesy garlic flavor was high up there, along with beef and onion. They were just basic pizzas but it meant they were cheap. Budget. Getting more meat and flavors on the pizza made them cost more. But thats how it scales. Only need a few hundrad more words till finished. This is going to be a great novel. One of the best novels. If not the best novel. And who the fuck are you to judge. One thing that really annoyed Sarah was people talking silly when she was trying to do things. Swearing especially annoyed her. THere was one flatmate that her parents had that annoyed her especially alot. He would stay home all day and just play video games. On a microphone he would swear and complain. It reminded her of how her older brother use to be. He would play video games all night and swear on the mic. He does not do this anymore since he has a full time, stable job. It means his life is much better. Playing games sucks and creates awful people. It's ok casual but faull time is very bad. I can't play video games like I use to. They dont grab my interest. THere are other things I would rather do. Like attend tech meetup. A social buterfly. That's what I was called when I attended artschool. I consider myself an introvert though. That's how I get most of my work done. By myself, with no one around talking or getting in my way. It's good to have people to go and see. Especially strangers. That's why I love the city so much. There are plenty of people. I can get lost amongst the people. There are always friendly happy people at the meetups. Sometimes there are nice girls also. Girls with accents are cute. I have a accent so they think I'm cute also. I shouldn't be talking like this. Sarah might read it and she would be mad. What did she think I was going to do when she sent me away though?
I meet her once in the library. She was browsing the fiction section. I’ve been told that the library was a great place to meet girls. It’s that and book stores. The ones in book stores tend to have money to spend well the ones in the library might only be there for the free wifi. Still both are better than meeting girls in bars. Those are the worse.
Doing a course is another. But that costs money. Would rather just pay for the sex. Some govts want to make courses free. There is no such thing as a free course though. Someone is going to pay for them. Tax payers. Free terciry education is a lie. more like tax payer funded education. I believe that user pays. They are already getting 13 years of free education. i mean tax payer funded education. And that’s ok. There is a certain point where that gets too much though.
She knew that I would talk to girls when I was going from conference to conference. And some of those girls would want to come back to my hotel room. It was a test really. She had her spys. Watching me waiting for me to take one of those girls back to my hotel room. I never did though. I would flirt with them. Tease them. Open their beer. But I never fucked them. That was my rule. talk, flirt, no sex. Some of them were quite desprite though. They hadn't been laid for awhile. Most of the guys at the conferences had girlfriends or wives. We were snatched up quickly by girls. The ability to give them stable and secure life style. My foot itches. I'm sure I didn't leave the door open. the window open. if I did then its a problem. There are things in this country that can kill you. I'm in the city though. Less likely to get things to kill you. If you go somewhere less city than it's more dangerous. I wouldn't go into the forest at night. That's where the most dangerous creatures are. You can hear them at night. They make noises. If I can do at least ten times the normal rate then I can catch up. Sure I know I am falling behind but that doesn't really matter. If I don't win it isn't the end of the world. What tshirt am I going to wear? That's the great thing about attending conferences is that Iget a shitload of tshirts. I needed tshirts. When I arrived here I only had 4. and some of them I didn't really like. Now I have over ten. Some of them are too small for me. I can give them to family though. It would fit Cora. Some are too big. I have a friend I can give them to. Hes not fat. He is just solid. He doesn't like to be called fat. I didn't mean to call him fat but he thought I did once. This made him very very mad. He didn’t speak to me for some time. Doesnt bother me. There are plenty of other people in the world I can talk to and be friends with. I got in trouble once for calling my older brothers friend once fat. His heart sank. You could see it in his face. It wasn’t really his fat. It wasn’t really his fault. Blame the parents for giving him a bad diet. Sure genes are an infence. ome into it somewhat but there are other factors that play a bigger roll. It wasn’t like he was samoan. They can’t help it so much. It’s more in their genes to be big. Generations of evolution. They needed to be big in order to be strong hunters. This affected the females as well as the males. I’m really rampling now. This went from tshirt sizes to Samoan body sizes. I’m sure they would think that I am racist. I’m not racist though. I hate everyone equlily. They all derserve the same hate. Hate is a strong word though. Dislike the behavour of is better. Disagreement of views. My views tend to be very libral. This makes conseratives uneasy. They are wrong though. A free market is important. Let the market do it’s thing.
What are we going to talk about next? Cora. Yeah the tshirt fitted her perfectly. She loved it. She even wore it to school to show her friends. She didn’t have many friends but the ones she did have were special. I think that’s good. It’s better to have less and higher quality than many and lower quality. I never kept in touch with those I went to school with. Very anti social. I mentioned this before - just liking to meet new people at various meetups. Most of the time the food at the meetups is just pizza but sometimes they have decent foods. At the most recent meetup I attended they had great food. It wasn’t pizza. Roast meat in gravey. Rice. Pasta. Roast veges. There was plenty of food. I had two plates and even took takeaways that I was able to eat as a midnight snake. I offered it to Sarah when I got home but she had already made dinner. There was tuna pasta salad in the fridge that I had for lunch. Yummy. I will eat whatever Sarah decides to make for dinner tonight. Taking a break from the tech meetups to attend a writing group. Some weeks I had been attending 3-4 tech meetups a week. They are on mondays to thursdays. This thursday there are three that I would like to attend but I can only choose one. The one I’ve choosen is the most relevent to me, though there is another that looks very popular. They are even letting me speak at this one. The one I attended last night were looking for speakers. I was keen to speak sometime. I would talk about Static Website Generatorers. Normally I talk about them in another language but I can speak about them in general and also look at some of the generators that are relevent to them.
Did I tell you about the time that Sarah cheated on me. It was before we took our break. We had argued that day. It wasn’t the worse argument in the world but it must of really affected Sarah. She left the house in a storm. I didn’t know where she went but at that moment I didn’t care. I just wanted a break from her. I can’t even remember what the arguement was about now. It was something very minor. I didn’t hear from her for hours. I was left with our two children. Cora and Clifford. I had a project due so really didn’t want to be looking after the kids. Was unable to find a babysitter at such short notice. Couldn’t drop them off at daycare. It’s times like this I wanted a Uber but for babysitting. Sarah would never agree with that. Leaving children with a stranger. I argued that it might not be a stranger that you will be leaving it with. or have a really good veto process. Could be a good way for local highschool girls and guys to get some work. Plus we have cameras. We can keep an eye on what happens. People are precious with their children though. It’s fair enough. There are some horrible people in this world. I hate watching the news. There is always someone getting arrested for some perverted crime. Geeze some of the subjects that I talk about are awful. I hate talking about this subject. Especially since it’s close to my heart. Before the software development I worked in an early childhood center. It’s always a danger being a male in a ece. People think you are there for bad reasons. When the majority of people are not there for bad reasons. Who watches the watchers. That’s the thing. The great thing about that is everyone keeps an eye on everyone else. Let’s try this again. Going to do a word sprint soon get get lots of words done.
Let’s go take a breaK!
I’m going to get my haircut today. It’s been months since it’s been cut. I can no longer grow it long. It just grows into a mess. I don’t have a problem with this but I am going to have my photo taken and put on the local library website. They are going to
The first year I gave NanoWriMo a go was 2014. I was working in a early childcare center in the mornings and in the afternoon I would write. It was a fun mix. Only ended up writing around 10,000 words though. Science ficion called Spike InfoSec
I did it again in 2015. This time I won. Had been attending a writing group. Wrote 53,000 words. Science fiction called It Will Not Be Mine. Aliens, time travel, moon, mars and alien planets. Alien technology, altenative timelines interweaving causing chaos.
Again in 2016. 35,000 words. Much happier than in 2015. Felt I had learnt alot and knew I could do it. Quality had improved greatly, especially with attending writers group fortnightly. Litarety. Wanted to move away from science fiction. Still lots of elements of scifi and action in it. Downfall of govt, police state, alien specimans.
The writers group I was invovled with in Hamilton, New Zealand would meet forttnightly for two hours in the evening at the local library. We would share our writing (max 500 words) and be given feedback/discussion around it. We sometimes did writing exercises. At the end of the session we would come up with a prompt or keywords for the next session.
This was great pratice for me and I noticed an improvment in my writing. The pressure and deadline were true motavaters. It was also great to hear others writing (and edit it also!).
I was known for cutting my sentences to only key words. One of my challanges was to write more complete sentences and mix up my word count in a sentence.
Wanted to write more of romance lit this year. Working title is WolfBark. Two story arcs (think Sliding Doors) Young couple on first date that are killed in terrorist attack. Reflect upon their life before and those around them after they are killed. Other arc is they survive the attack and follows their life as they grow old together.
First week went great and was on track but fell behind during 2nd week. Trying to catchup during 3rd week. Not sure if I will catchup but will try. Will end the month with more words than I started with!
Last night and today have been great. Really put a dent in the word count.
You look like a new man Sarah told me when I got a new haircut. Wasn’t sure if I should get a curl cut or a styled. The styled was more expensive and it would be a nicer cut. I decided to go for it. I wasn’t sure what to ask for. Do you know the numbers the hairdresser asked me. I had no idea. I know last time I got my haircut it was a number 3 all over. That was fine. It was a flatmate that did it though so it was a bit messgy in parts. There were areas that I had to cut with sizzors.
I’m happy with the new haircut though. I really needed it. It was a real mess. It wasn’t long but just a mess. I’m unable to grow my hair long anymore. It use to be long. I loved to headbang. But as I got older my hair changed. Reclining hair. When I get it cut super short then I get told that I look super old. I dont care if i look old though. and i don’t think girls do either. Still a bit of length in my hair is fine. I like to keep it tidy though, and I have not been doing that. But I can start.
I would sometimes just sit in the library and write. It allowed me to get alot written. Especially in a controlled enviorment. Where the lockin happened. Twenty minutes. Quite focused which is something I was quite the fan of. I didn’t have no where a many words yesterday as I did today.
I would get lots of comments about my keyboard. It glows like a motherfucker. It also has four different profiles which lets me setup different affects. There is one I use the majority of the time though. The albabert keys are all red. The numbers blue. Shift is blue. Green for the alt. Yellow for the backspare and other keys. Pink for the F1-12 keys. The keyboard doesn’t have numbers and letters on it so it’s important that the colours let me choose the difference between letters and . That’s the thing that gets me the most. When I hit the P key instead of [. This is especially annoying when I am typing code. When I’m writing it doesn’t matter so much. because i dont use brackets. Let’s try for some more words.
Cora and Clifford got on very well. Cora being the older was very excited when we told her that she was going to have a baby brother. One day when she was playing in her room I entered and got her to sit on her bed, telling her that we were pregent with a baby. We didn’t know the gender at that point. Cora had always wanted a brother. She got her wish. I’m sure she would of been happy with a sister also. We didn’t mind what gender Clifford was. Male or Female would matter. Boys are a bit easier to deal with I felt. In the end we had one girl and two boys though. A good mixture. What are the elements of the story. What the fuck. I have no idea what was happening. Sarah had left the house and had been gone for hours. I called her friends and family. No one had heard anything. I gave the local police station a ring. They refused to file a missing report until she was missing for 24 hours. I even went out on the street and looked for her. Later I found out she had driven to a bar. A bar. Why didn’t I think to look at a bar. Sarah was never a big drinker. I don’t know why she would go to a bar. It wasn’t until much later that I found out she had picked up a guy at the bar and gone back to his place. She had slept with him. It was a one off. But still. She cheated on me. I went on the trip not knowing this. I thought it was my fault. I blammed myself. My actions.
How long did it take for me to find out she cheated on me? She kept it hidden for around 5 years. I found out from the guy. He had a camera setup. I watched a video of my wife cheating on me. It had the date and time. It was the night that she had disapeared. Yeah disturbing I know. This guy picks up woman and takes them back to his house where he has hidden cameras setup. He then bribs them or he releases the footage to the public, friends and family. In my case he released the footage to me. We got the police invovled. It really destoryed Sarah that footage. I just wish she had told me sooner. Rather than living with the fear of him realeasing the footage. What did the footage show? It was a typical porn scene. It showed Sarah exit from the shower. Try herself and enter the master bedroom. Naked. The guy was naked and started to stroke her body, before pushing her down to her knees. His erection in her mouth. Her head bobed up and down. Headbobers that what they call them. He moaned but didn’t cum. He stopped her before he came. He lifted her up and threw her on the bed. He then went down on her. He kissed her neck, before moving down to her shoulders, breasts. He sucked on her nipples before moving down to her chest. His fingers continued to play with her nipples. He reached her pussy. His tongue massaging her clit. She moaned in pleasure. Her legs gripped. He wrote the alabert. When I did it I would write code. varables. classes. Tests. she loved it. It didn’t take long for her to cum with him licking her pussy. She was ready to take his penis. He spat on his hand. Condom he asked. She shook her head. No need I’m on the pill. She smiled before pushing his cock into her pussy. She screamed in pleasure. He moved in and out. Her pussy juices making his dick wet. Covered in liquids. Where do you want me to cum. He asked her. On my face. He pulled out and started to jack off into her face. Her mouth wide open. Moments later he came into her mouth. It squirted over her nose and eye. She used to hand and wiped the cum from her face before licking and swallowing it. She took his cock into
her mouth. Cleaning off the remaining liquid. A smile covered her face. That was incredible she said. Let’s do it again. He replied.
I had had enough. I couldn’t watch anymore. Watching this guy fuck my wife years ago was too much. I didn’t know what to do. How I would tell her. She had no idea.
What would you do? Talk to her about it. Did it happen again? He was able to use this tape as blackmail. Why release it now? Did she do something that caused him to release it. Is it up on the internet? I would hate to think that there were guys around the world jacking off to a video of my wife. The thought made me sick. I got up off the chair and rushed to the bathroom. Vomit poured from my mouth. I needed a smoke. Reached for my backpocket and pulled out my rollies. I didn’t always smoke rollies but had recently started. They sure are cheaper than tailors. I needed papers and filter. They were back at my desk. The scene was still on. Paused. My wife naked. In bed with a random stranger. She looked so much younger. This was 5 years ago. Those 5 years had really aged her. Was it this tape that had caused it? She must of seen it. Oh well. Let’s try again.
hello this is a not going to writing omg this is not going to see if this is going to im going hello this is not going to work out. That’s what she said. og that is a really bad joke. I like this new app that I installed. It’s quite amazing how many people use it. It’s one of the most popular apps in the world. Let’s see how many nudes can be collected in a day. So many girls get their tits out. You don’t even have to ask. They just upload them for everyone to see. It didn’t always use to be like this.
Where is it set? What is the population of the city? In western society. Mostly white people. The food that they get from the resturant is not tradiational chinese food. It’s westerist chinese food. They still have chinese people working there but it’s mostly for display. The owners are white. Did the attacker know this when he attacked? He thought he was targetting chinese. But the majority of people that he killed were white. His own race. It was a bit like the church shooting. The guy that did that was white - atheist. He targeted white consertive people. They were not much different to him. Infact he was raised a christen but something happened and he stopped believing in god. They looked into weither religion was a factor in the chinese resutrionts. They knew he was targeting chinese. That didn’t work out well for him thouhg, the majority of the people that he killed were white.
Who was the terrorist? He was a white male in his early thirtys. He was a disturbed indivial. He had some serious mental health issues. But he went under the rador. That’s one thing about us librals that can get up to debate - mental health funding. Do we need to put more money into mental health? How much is the indivial responcibal for their mental health vs the state. I think the state does a poor job at it and that the private sector could do better. More volunteer funding vs taxation. As the quote goes - taxation is theft.
Ahh on a direct line. This is excellent. I’m on my way into the city for my first date with Sarah. It’s easier to take the train in than it is to drive. There are checkpoints setup all over the city. There has been threats of an attack. I’m not worried though. I think it’s better go go out and expore than be scared and stay home. If we stayed home that means that the terrorists win. We can’t let them win. Looking back now I wish we had stayed home. But I didn’t know that. I didn’t know the threat was so real. I think everyone took it for granted. The police tried but it wasn’t good enough. It was very hard to detect. The train stops and police get onboard. They are looking for unauthorised guns and explosives. They had dogs onboard to sniff it out. The dogs are trained to look specify for explosives and such. They can sniff out the powder and chemicals. They are not looking for drugs. That’s no longer an issue since it has all been legalized. It’s not a good look to have a line of cocain in public though. People are distreat about it. come on lets have a celebraion. one of the passangers called out when the police and the dogs had exited the carrage. They didn’t find anything. Why do I always write about authority and police. State and corporate control. I’m all for the free market and free trade. Equal platform for all. No regulation. Or very low regulation.
Sarah was tipsy on the train. We had both attended a meetup in the city. Like I said before, Sarah doesn’t often attend meetups. She did tonight. I was speaking at a local meetup. It was a warmup for a conference talk I am doing. The warmup talk went well. I was meant to be the third speaker but they got me to go first. This worked out well as I was able to get stuck into the beer after my talk. I didn’t want to go into my talk drunk. thsyd esd yhr hyjin . thid thd id not going to happen. She just sat on her phone the whole time. If I get writing done when on transport that is good. Can’t seem to get enough done at home. Being on the train lets me get lots written. I guess havin tthe others around me helps. I don’t like not having my keyboard though. I like to carry it wherever I go. If I don’t have it with me I feel naked. And no one likes to feel naked. THis is going to wrok. This will not be bad. Let’s check to see if there are any changes on the codebase yet. None that I know of. I can’t seem to work out when or what went wrong. It’s just a series of really bad scenes. I really don’t like that this is going to happen again. Lets get that fixed. Not allowed to put my legs up on the. Sarah once fell asleep on the train. She woke up once it reached the destanation.
Got asked about the software that my brother works on. Law Search. Law Software. He works on Law Search. There are two companies. One of them works on law software, the other works on law search. Elastic search. Everything you need to run a law firm. It was interesting hearing from the founder of the business. His father had a law business and the son started to create software for it. Soon other firms wanted the software and he was able to sell it to them. This is how the business started.
Sarah was annoyed that the train was stopping at all stops. She wanted to take a train that would stop a therrr qqass ther waas. When you don’t hit the word count something is wrong. but that’s ok. lets see how much i can get tonight. omg for a moment there i thought i left the oven on. i did not. lets’ get back to the novel.
Sarah knew something was different after I had seen the video. She asked me what was wrong. I couldn’t talk to her about it yet. I wanted to see the whole video. I wanted to see what my wife did with this random stranger. When I was watching it I didn’t want to continue watching it. But seeing her now. Concerned but not knowing what I knew. He must of not told her that he released the tape to me.
Is it considered revenge porn? All I know is what he did was very wrong. Sure it was wrong for Sarah to cheat on me but for him to go ahead and record it. Unless she knew he was recording. Why would she do that though? It would be of no use to her. Only he would be able to use it at levege.
can’t believe i lost word count. Oh well. Let’s see if I can get through this.
What’s his name. The guy. Well I really could do with a drink now. Let’s see how much more is going to go. When I reported him to the police they wanted to give me a disccruption. I didn’t want to tell them about the footage. I wanted to keep it to myself for now. If the police found out about the tape then Sarah might find out that I knew.
It was a Saturday when I decided to tell Sarah about the tape. I still hadn’t brought myTHERRE WAAS NITT AEEERTHJHYKDF RTJJRT self to watch the full footage. The tape runs for longer though. So I know it’s there. It could be something else. She seemed to enjoy it though so I dought it. omg let’s see how much is left. If I can make it towards a more. You can swing swing swing. I never slept with another. It was only Sarah. How could she betray me and her children. Gone over it a thousand times in my head about what to do next.
The bar was dimly lit. Very intermite. Sarah sat at the bar drinking whisky sours. She had a few guys try to come onto her that evening but she wasn’t interested in them. Sending them away. When he came and talked to her though. It trigged something. Something made her snap. She put his hand on his lap. He knew then he was going to get laid. He didn’t even need to buy her any more drinks. They ordered a uber back to his place. He was too drunk to drive. He would have to come back to the bar once he was sober and pickup his car. He wasn’t expecting to drink. But he did. What did he order? Whisky was a favorite of his. Whisky Sour is what he ordered. Same for her. She accepted. She had denied offers of drinks all eening. But something happened and she decided to accept this offer.
The train stopped in the tunnel. It’s always scary. Why is it going so damn slow. It’s annoying that this train is only going to central. Of well I have plenty of time and don’t have to take
The more awake the more I am asleep. I went to God to see and I was looking at me. Shoot, shoot. Everybody dies motherfucker.
shoot. shoot. motherfucker.
The gunman had considered going on a shooting spree but he was unable to get access to enough weapons. He decided to use a bomb instead.
I don’t care if your world is ending today. I got got a k2. The only thing is missing is a bitch like you. Well that did not go well. Let’s see what happens next.
Let’s talk about Coras first day at school. This was after Sarah had cheated on me. Before I found out though. Both myself and Sarah took her to her first day. It was just going to be half a day. Ease her into it. She had attended kindergarten in the past so it was not a problem for her to ajust to school. The transision was easy for her. On my first day of school I cried and screamed. They had to get the princible to help. I never liked school and was buillied. Once a teacher found me in the dirt being kicked by other kids. I would of been about eight. I didn’t have an issue with the pain and would just let them hit me. kinky stuff now. when you love to be chocked. Bloody hell let’s see how much more we can get done. One there was a boy that didn’t want to go to school. That boy was me. I was worried my sons would be the same. social anxiety they called it. But I’m also a social butterfly. I hate being told what to do. Like when I went to the code retreat. I ended up getting super depressed and just walking out. I do not like to be told what to do. We were meant to create game of life. Multipy times with different people. The first person I worked with I just edited an existing project. It didn’t work very well. But it kind of worked. With the 2nd person we didn’t go so far. We mostly talked about conferences. But that’s ok. She was cool. The third person was when I lost it. The girl even walked away from me to talk to the mentor. I would of rather just worked on my own project. Maybe a hackathon. Working with one other person. And do it over the weekend. Having a theme like govhack do would of been good.
This is not going too well. Let’s check and see if something else works better. I can’t believe I didn’t give this app a go before. It could drive a huge amount of traffic.
THe wave s crashed into the beach. The peaceful sounds of the waves hitting the sand. Some of these girls are fat and horrible to look at. I don’t see anyone else around with a laptop. I should be able to get quite a bit of writing done on this day. It’s a beautiful day. Let’s see what there is to eat and drink. I wish Sarah could of came with me. She decided to stay home with the kids though fair enough. I know where all the keys are. There is no point trying to look at them or at the screen. It is very glarey. Of won’t you come out here again. Let’s see how much I can get written. I don’t even like the water. I will sit here though. It isn’t super crowded which is a good thouung. Would not like it so much if it was. It would be nice to have a drink. I wonder if there is somewhere nearby where I can go and have a drink. Sarah isn’t expecting me to get home anytime soon. The sun glare is bad though. I have to close my eyes in order to be able to see ok. That doesn’t really matter though. It’s more important that I get my wordcount done.But there are some real hotties on the beach. Alot of them are under age but this girl isn’t She has an amazing ass. In tight black shorts. Will keep an eye on her. Fuck I think i just got a spelling mistake. Do it for the science. There are quite a few stalls setup. I might go check them out. They will likely be quite cheap and i have changes and notes. I even have a 5 dollars note. I can’t believe they still have a five cent coin. It’s been ears since have seen one. In my home country they got rid of them years ago. Dur to inflaction they are quite useless. There are a couple of seagulls here. They are white and gray with a bit of black in the back. This one is just little. I wonder if it is fully groown. It might be a feale or just ateenager. It looks very soft i i think it is a female. Just ew can’t believe I had italics running. It’s something I really don’t like to use. Oh well it. Doesn’t matter. I will get rid it later. No bold, no italics. Just plain text. I think html is the worse in files like this. I really oppose it.
wLet’s stop this and go get something to eat. I wonder what the word count will hit now. That add is amazing. Bent over with her legs speread. I think her husband caught me checking her out. She wouldn’t like that’ There is nothing left here except the beach. Every motherfucker dies. No guns. Got to be careful. Yeah doing squats now. Oh that’s the way. I like this girl. She is with her daighter. Must be around 6. They look like they aree having fun mother and daughter time together. Having races with each other. All the guys are not so nice though. I am warong sunscreen today though. That means I will be less likely to get burnt. I hate when the app freezes. I also don’t like this keyboard. It’s not my mechanical keyboard. I should of brought mykeyboard with me. I wish it was smaller. I need to get myself a cheaper one that. wow I can’t believe he’s dead. A legend and he died so young. There are going to lots of people playing his music this day. Woman to the right. Aint got gun. Oh yeah a hittie just in front twelve oclock. She has a black bikini on. I had white as a secondry colour. She must be here with her boyfriend though. I didnt even bother to bring a towl . I would like to come next sunday and bring a towl that time. I will bring my openstack sydney town. I paid too much for that conference, especially since it was a three day conference. The food was very good though. I really should go find a better spot where I can hear the music better. The sky is beautiful though. I can see the sail boats out in the distance. That base is horrible omg. Maybe I don’t want to hear it. Turn down the fucking base.
Went and talked to the govt nuclear about open data. They said they don’t have open data. They need to protect their IP. I pulled out the whole taxpayer funded. They said it’s research. Still if it is govt money going towards these projects they should be open. Found a new spot on the beach to write. Just had a seagul land. He’s a big boy. Much bigger that the one that landed before. I didn’t stay for long. SCame to see if I had food or not. Saw I didn’t get went off again. Anotherone is here. Not so big. He’s just walking aound loking at all the people. Likely he is looking for food. They will always be hunting for food. Did a couple of sousand words. Give it all up. I need to finish this. I will finish the novel. It’s important that I do. I don’t see the appeal in surfing. I don’t really like water either. I bet it’s warm though. Too scared to goh ave a look though because I might drop my bag and that is full of eletronics. The weather here isn’t too hot. I’m not in shade. Oh lets go for a walk soon. I need to get a few more towards my word count . getting out and enjoying the sunshine. I found a seat. I am hungry though. I need to go find food. It’s likely quite expensive around here. THere must be somewhere that would sell stuff though. A cider though by great. Byflys. I plan just went accoess with a sign.
Yeah sitting in the same spot as last time. Have wine and snacks. There is quite the hottie in a green dressh. A bit young though. Give her a few years and she wiould be ok though. I’ve gotten quite a bit written here. The tide is much futrther out than it was last time.
I have not written about the beach much. It’s a beautiful day. Away from Sarah and the issues that she has been causing. I wonder how this novel will compare to the one from last year. Barefoot. They doing cartwheels and posting it to the app. I see some are out on crafts. The mother isnn’t too bad. Young ones running towards the water. She looked at me when> I think she likes me. Quite nice legs. Skinny. Quite petite. Too young though. I just saw her underwear. Her skirt lifted up in the wind. SHe doesn’t seems to care. She is on the beach after all. There are others walking around with much less on. I wonder what her name is. She is now writing something into the sand with her right foot. Her younger sister beeside her copies. I wonder what the are writing. I could walk over later once they are gone and see. It’s likely nothing too special though. It’s great to get so much writing done. A spec of liquid gits me. There is a guy beside me smoking. I guess this is where people go to break the law. Here I am drinking white wine in a alchol free zone and he’s here smoking a cig. I’m not worried though. Next time I come to the beach I will bring a towl. That was I can lye down and sunbath. I hope that I am not getting too burnt this time. Ir really like this beach though. It’s very clean. I would like to play music but don’t want to annoy those beside me. The sound of the waves is nice. very nice though. I’m likely a bit burnt. She walked towards me. For a minute I thought she was going to talk to me. No they climbed up on the rocks beside me. Another flash of her underwear. Terrible yes. I’m a horrible person. Sarah wouldn’t like me looking at other woman. Let’s see what happens next. Oh the smoker is gone. That’s good. I think he knew that i was drinking alchol. Oh a hottie to the right. wow there are amazing girls on the beach here. Well if the police come I will just thorow this wine. Na they wont come i am not causing any issues. I dp like beiiing here. THere is the ability to train to the beach. I didn’t have that anywhre in my home country. It gives me more freedom t,mm,obbk.ok back home. this is a good thing though i have a horrible taste in my mouth. it tastes like vomit. i havn’t vomited. Sarah is sleeping. I should just get up and have a glass of water and a pain killer. Finished a bottle of white wine today. Not always a big white wine drinker. This was a cheap one and easy to drink. A salad would be nice to eat with it. Still sitting here. Ain’t doing much. Everytime. She replies to my comments now. That’s nice. When I tag her in memes. Pizza is life. But you do get sick of it when you have it 4 times a week. It’s a warm day and I do not have a clean shirt. I need to get new underwear also. I only brought a couple with me. Oh well. Let’s see how this goes. THere are quite a few people coming onto the train. I’ve moved my bah so that there is room for people to sit down. I want people to be able to sit down if they want.
So I’m leaving Sarah at home with the kids and heading to a meetup. I like to take the train during off peak but not too early. Need to figure out where the meetup is happening tonigt. THey say that the talks will be recorded and if you don’t want to be on film you must talk to them or not attend. I really don’t mind being on camera. It’s something I can send to Mother. Still I have a bloody bad headache. Wish I had taken a pill before I left. I’ve been taking quite a bit of pain killers lately. They are lukely not very good for me but they help. Would rather smoke something but that’s hard to find here. Plus the police are crazy. The goal would be to reach twenty thousand words by the end of the day. The only way I am going to get that is if I write. I don’t know how this is going to work. The sun is shining into the carrage. It’s a bright and warm day. I thought i was going to be cold so i got a jacket. I may need it once I get outside or when I am heading back from the meetup tonight.
Switched from using the av cable to bluetooth. I can just have the headset plugged into my. dirty deads done dirt cheap. Wow that is some dight pants. They are considered yoga pant. Oh hers isn’t so night. Theye are gone now. Why so perferted. U gyess is nature. It’s ok to look tright though. As along as you do’t do anything. When you touch then that’s when its bad. That’s how they justify their actions. We are going to try to fill a carrage. It’s going to take a few people to do it but it would be really awesome if we did it. This will only be the 2nd meetup that i get along to since nov started. Dirty deeds done dirt cheap. Ah she is back. Her pants are semi loose. There is folds in the knee area. They are not skin fight. THe other girl has skin tights pants. There are flowers on it also. I hope no one is heading this. It is very disturbing if you are. You would hate what I write. It’s terrible writing . Let’s skip. THere is a small sore on her finger. I wonder how that happened. Getting high like a motherfucking. It’s a longway to the top. THere aree a few hundred words to go untill I am done for the day but getting a good amount done so far. The trees are lovely and green. I don’t know what to do for xmas. I guess I could fly into Auckland. On the first of December. I can’t have her look at it. They seem very confiused on if they want to sit down or not, or where they want to sit dow. THis is not an issue for me. As long as I have a deaat. Pereerence is a window seat so i can look out at the views. But I can just close my eyes and writie. That’s that. That’s what I’m doing currently. Eyes closed Iaging fucking this hottie.
Back on the train. Super feeling good. I hardy wrote anything during this trip. The heat hit me and i just wanted to sleep. This novel is not going good aye. It’s almost the end of the month and I’m not happy with what I have written. Oh well there is always next year!
I wonder what Sarah is doing currently. Likely cleaning. She spents quite a bit of her time cleaning. A bit of a clean freak. But that’s ok. I’m not the most cleanest person in the world. Need to do the bed sheets. Oh it’s a wonderful day.
Let’s see hwat happens next. I think I got a mistake. Oh well. Oh wow. That was Sarahs favorite quote. It was orignally from a television show. Never been down.
SItting in front of the fountain. I have Sarah beside me. I think now is a good time to ask her about the tape. About her cheating on me. It’s in public so none of us can become violent. Sure it’s going to upset her but I can’t keep it hidden up forever. What is she going to ask me. I don’t know how she will react. Embarassed. Denial. There is no dought that it’s her though. It even has the time stamp of when she was away.
There is icecream here. I was thinking of getting one but it’s too expennnsive. Would rather go to a normal shop and buy ice cream. I’m stalling. Sarah agrees to come with me for icecream. We will walk.
The weather is so nice though. We don’t want to move. We will sit here for longer. I have a meetup tonight. I don’t think Sarah will come along though. She will take the train home.
Coudln’t stay there forever. Had to get up and walk to the event. Sarah took the train home. It was my first time attending this one. I got there slightly early. There were already a few people standing around chatting. Pizza was served. Sometimes the pizza doesn’t come till later in the evening. But it’s good when they start with pizza. You can stand around and eat some pizza and chat before taking a seak to hear the talks. It’s always a bit awkward attending these meetups for the first time. I grabbed a apple cider and my plate of pizza and found a spot by the window with a ledge to to hold my pizza. There were a few more people here now. Some guy was struggling to decide on where to put his bag. I thought he could of just put it on the ground. He wanted to put it on the ledge beside me though. I can understand that. It’s likely got eletronics in and could be stood on. I say hello and we get talking. Of course I end up talking about my home country. All the tourist spots. There are a few tourist spots that I never went to. It doesn’t really matter anymore. I saw enough of the country. I’m not even that interested in the tourist spots anyway. Since I’ve been here hardly written any code. That’s the problem with not having a desk and my normal setup. Not sure what to bring back to home country and what to leave behind. I plan on returning here soon. It would be good to see family. It’s been awhile. So close to hitting 20,000. I would really like to get a boost the next few days. The only way to do that is sit down and write. I only seem to be able to do it when I’m on the train. That’s bad. But I have been keeping busy. Getting into the city everyday. Or to the beach. I need to get to more beaches. When I went to the beach on Sunday I wrote a allot. It was good and I didn’t get very burnt. When I went the previous Saturday I got burnt. It’s still pealing now. This morning my skin on the feet peeled. It’s always fun to peel skin off after getting burnt. Similar to poping a white head or pimple.
I don’t know if the library will publish what I wrote for them. They published some girls article that was also at the meetup but not mine. I have not heard anything from them. Oh well. Whatever. I’m sure I will get an email from they sometime. Without the threat of death there is no reason to live. well the month is almost over. I certainly have not got the amount of words that I hoped for but whatever. I did better than the first year. I have not had the best writing setup. I did well when I had a desk and such. But I’ve had a great time here. Got to lots of meetups. Meet lots of people. Visited the beach twice. And still have time to get to the beach again, though it might have to be during the week next week. Let’s see what else there is to do. Applying for jobs. I’ve applied for hundrads of jobs. I’ve only got a few replies. That’s ok. Sitting here enjoying the sun. It’s so so warm. I don’t know how people can stand this weather all the time. That’s mostly what I tallk about with people. The weather. Tourist spots. They always ask me about locations to visit. I feel like a travel agent for my home country, selling Sitting here with my eyes c;psed. not typing. i should be typing. it’s a beauty of a day. the water is sparkling. na na ba ba ba. This is a test.
What are Sarahs thoughts on the subject? She was use to the heat. She had grown up here. It’s what she is use to. That’s fine. It’s cold for her when she goes back to my home country to visit. SHe doesn’t like the cold. She likes the heat. Well not long let till leave. It’s going to be an exciting trip. I don’t know if I’m looking forward to going back.
Just as I am about to leave a bunch of matches show up. I guess it’s because it’s getting close to the holidays and people are looking for action over the holidays. It’s not a bad thing getting these matches. I am thankful for every match. These matches seem to be good also. They have an interest in reading - I have even been given some book recommandations. That’s one thing that has suffered this month - my reading. I’ve been focused on writing this novel and getting along to tech meetups. Beaches have been good on the weekend also. I could of gotten along to the beach during the weekdays but I didn’t Still my sleeping patterns have been awful. I usually don’t get to sleep until around 5am in the morning. It’s worse if I have an evening sleep and end up waking up around midnight. Brother seems to be ok with me coming back here in the future.
How’s the novel going? Well it has been a few days since I’ve written much. This is the first meetup for writers that I have attended lately. That’s ok. I’ve been busy with tech and design meetups. I would like to get along to more design and tech meetups next year. I certainly enjoy the scene here for it. Much better than at home. It will be interesting going back home. It’s going to be colder than here. But it’s still going to be warm. When I come back here in the new year it’s going to be very warm. I need to find work in order to return though.
The people here are niver. Much better than back at home. There are less losers here. Everyone is a winner. They treat me differently also. It’s because I’m not from here. I havn’t meetup alot of locals though. Most of the people I meet at meetups are from other countries. I feel like a salesman for new zealand tourism. I’m very good at recommending places in my home country to visit. And not just the usual tourist spots. Lots of the people I talk to have never been to my home country.
There are six people here tonight. A mixture of diversity. That’s good. This is only the third writers meetup that I have made it to - and the 2nd since the writing challange started. There is no way I am going to win but I’ve given it a good shot. I will look at joining a writers group next year. I want one similar to what I had last year. There is one at the local library here. But that is on a Monday morning. It would be ok for me but if I’m working it lilely won’t work. One in the evening would be good - but would likely clash with meetups I attend. When I return I need to attend meetups that I enjoy. The WordPress meetups are a bit of hit and miss. The people are ok but the tech is stupid. I wouldn’t mind doing a short talk there though - I would talk about exporting WordPress site off as a static website. I could sell this to them as a way to backup your site. They are big fans of WordPress though so any mention of moving away makes them uneven. My talk would be a bit different. I would also like to do this talk at the Ruby meetup. I could talk about Ruby static generators - Jerkll is a popular one there are altenative ones that I have had a play with. Maybe give a go at writing my art blog post templating script as a Ruby. I didn’t get along to the Go meetup. It clashed with the Django meetup. As much as I love Python I am really not a big fan of Django. I would like to get along to the Go meetup in the new year. There are likely others - Angular is another I would like to attend. I’ve been learning it so would like to go and talk to people about it. Some of the tutorials are a little confusing so would be a good place to bring up my issues. React is another I missed that I would like to attend. I need to stay away from the Microsoft and .net based ones. They are really not for me. I should also be careful with the Wordpress. I loved the Designer and UserExperience meetups. They have wine also which I approve of. They have to have wine because they have a large number of females attending - many who don’t drink beer. I don’t mind drinking beer but I would rather a red wine. If there is no wine I will have a cider before a wine. Sometimes they run out of cider and I have to drink beer. This makes me sad and doesn’t help my drinking since mixing drinks is not good. My eytes really hur. I don’t know why I have not done this with omy eyes open. I can tyrype more with my eyes closed. Need to decide if I am going to take the keyboard back or not. I would rather put it in storage at brothers for when I return. There is a large chance of me returning. I just need to find work. Once I get work I can get a relationship. That’s one of the things that are holding me back. God da,m stupid mother. every motherfucker dies. That’s what the bomber said. I havn’t even talked about the novel yet. I am so over it. It’s ok though. Next year I will write another novel. What will I write about.
Get an email asking for a more detailed resume. Oh I am useless and yeah my resume is quite blank. Headache now. Really need a smoke. But I have hardly smoked since I’ve arrived here. That’s a good thing. Good to take a break. Looking forward to arriving back in home country where there is lots more to smoke. Good times. This sprint should be almost over. I’ve written alot and hardly had a break
There is something about the wordsprints that let me to keep going. How many are left? Oh only 5 mins left. THat’s fine I’ve done really well I think once I hit this limit then everything will be over.
God damn headache. I didn’t even bring any pills with me. Sometimes I bring my pills and i could have them with water. Let’s see how much more. Hopefully we can do another sprint. I’ll say goodbye even though I’m blue. The anxiety and depression hasn’t been too bad since I have been over here. Sure I get panic attacks now and then. It’s mostly when I lose my stuff or think i have lost it. Backing up and good security helps. We must be almost done. I’ve had enough of this.
Brunette. Sarah was a brunette. I’m so over her. Even the girl in my home country. When she tells me that she is dating a new guy. Doesn’t even phase me. We will continue to be friends. We are very different people. We have different values but have connections in some areas. One is our mental health. We both are socially awkward. Anxiety and depression affect both of us. We have different political idiology. She believes in the nanny state. I’m a libral. When she told me she didn’t want to see Cannabis legalized I almost vomit6ed. Smoke big buds everyday. Let’s see how much we can get written during this 20 min sprint. I really like having these sprints. I got to get through this.
Sarah divorced me in the end. It was likely for the best. Things could of worked out better but they didn’t there were things that we both regreated. I think the most major regreat for her was the night that she cheated on me. That really changed her. The sprints are good because they put presure on you to get lots done. Love your ways. Lean back and have the music blasting. There going to be a choice of either this or that. Her hair tied back in a ponytail. Not a double like the porn I just watched. That’s so gross she would say. Hey we could do that I would joke with her. There was not much choice in what to do next. It had been sometime since anything had happened. A goodbye fuck. It was likely we wouldn’t see each other again. Oh well one last time. Just like those poor people that died in the building explosion. They didn’t have a choice. This music is amazing. The Smiths are her favorite band. We will never meet again. Shave yourself and lets get started. Sarah had finished in the bathroom. Freshly shaved. She felt clean. Beautiful. Getting down to business.
Don’t scroll back that’s the worse thing that you can do. There is nothing left to do except for something like this. Put your arms around me I asked Sarah. She snuggled in close. There was a chance this was never going to happen again. One last time. With felling. How long had we been married. Would she find a new husaband after I was gone. Would she styay divorced. I had no plane on finding someone else. There was no point. My life had been spent with her. I didn’t know anything else. I say that but things could change. Sarah slid down. There was something special about tonight. Maybe it was because it was our last time, maybe it was something in the air. I’ve really crunched into the lollies. They are deliocous. I was thinking about bringing along. I have been quite distracted during this sprint. Keep going back to my phone and checking message. One of my friends from home country has sent me a photo. Lemon Pepper chips. yum i guess. I try to avoid chips. especially potatoe chips. They are not the most healthy snack in the world. boys light up. I have been avoiding putting in any mention of country in the novel. This is a good thing. It could be set anywhere. I could write the latest foiled plan in a nearby city. The terrorist had planned on killing as many people as posible during the new year celebrations. It would of been devastating. Especally since only the cops carry weapons. There are calls to bring back gun rights for ordinally citizens. They derverse the right to protect themseves from these crazy people. Just like recently in the church shooting - it was someone with a gun that stopped the shooter. If they hadn’t shot the shooter then the shooter may of gone on and killed many more people. THis music is shit. This is better music. It’s from my home country. I like playing music from my home country. Asked to send a more detailed resume. Have a busy few days and likely won’t be able to send a more detailed resume. It’s quite frustrating. I have a project to work on tonight.
NaNoWriMo Weekly Questions
William Mckee is a kiwi in Sydney. This year he attended write-in at Sutherland library.
Week 3: Traditionally the hardest week of NaNoWriMo.
Tell us about your story
A couple on their first date are killed in a terrorist attack. The story tells of their life and the events that take place afterwards.
But what if they didn’t die?
The novel tells the events of their life after surviving the attack. Getting married, having children, getting old. The ups and downs.
Think Sliding Doors. It’s a litary fiction but elements of romance and erotica.
Is this your first NaNoWriMo and how how are you faring?
This is my forth year doing NaNoWriMo. I first attempted it in 2014 (10,000 words), 2015 (53,000 words), and 2016 (35,000)
What is the biggest difficulty you've encountered so far? Writing fatigue, distractions, stumbling blocks?
Being in Sydney and attending so many tech meetups and conferences.
Writers block – how do you deal with it?
Write something completely different. Write about my day, modified to fit the story.
What’s your current word count? Are you writing every day or do you have bursts of productivity?
I’m only on 16,000. First week was great but went downhill from there.
Is your story what you originally intended it to be?
There were a few suprises but I didn’t plan anything so everything is really a suprise.
What lessons have you learnt so far?
Talk to other writers. They will ask excellent questions.
I don’t like these announcments. It is quite confusing what is happening. I think we are not theree yet. We be there soon though. Of to be up there and smuthered again all those bodies. She wants it. That’s what she told me. A few more stops and I will be there. How exciting. It will be nice to see him. It has been awhile. It was like when I landed. I hadn’t seen him for a very long time. I guess I should packup the laptop soon. There isn’t a huge rush for it though. It’s a busy week, getting along to all these meetups. There are five for me to attend this week. The one on Friday isn’t a meetup but a digital art openeing. It should be an interesting experience. We currently at center. The next stop will be town hall. I’m going to switch this accross now. It’s been a good writing trip. I don’t usually get so much written. If I get more triain trips like this I might be able to catchup a bit with my wordcount.
What keeps you awake at night?
2020 half CIOs will be out of business that havnt transformed biz. Get value out of business.
What we going to talk about?
Engineering effectiviviness. 8 ill like to share.
software driven economy. leaders must change.
high performers. outperming low performers. state of devops. puppet labs. not just a finger in the air. data science 28,000 people employers in different industries.
Change of production. Go read the report. jenkins devops report.
effetive vs efficient. doing the right thing is just effeiciently. organalisn behavious.
evolutionary changes. everyone doing docker, doing devops. ok if small shop. but enterpise complex. baby steps. conways law. the one that knows whats going on and the one thats going to get fired.
org com structure. autonomous cross functional missionnn driven.
proficient first. more to it than devops. data breach. omg. focus on security, only works for awhile. let in things you thint you fixed. base level in complenicy. security built into quality . cloud playforms. is it a requirrments. novice empetent prolifent exterrrr master. how to get there. not rocket science. each team different focus. g
if you built it your in charge of it. airtasker. the cto number ad campains. issues scaling super quick to fix nd scale
iconic. see and know impact. no qe. all the detail. fail quickly. no testing. examplkes they talking.
waterfall. instrmatation. monitoring. instramenyt everything. what happens a step back. years and tears of legact. mobile app still needs to contact certain systems. predict issues. levage data you have. tell you ahead of time. 15 b metrics and events sec. apply smarts to you. applied intelligence.
open tracing. distrubed tracing. importrant, key to undrerstanding. move fast with confiudence. startcon 1 /2 december startcon.com
she swears like anything
test in production, its the only way